Tuesday, April 18, 2006

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of a sexually transmitted disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders; delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia and paranoia; inability to accept responsibility for own actions; cowardice masked by misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history; tendencies towards evangelical theocracy; categorical all-or-nothing behavior; Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive Disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.

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